Bella Finkel - Age 11
Second Place Winner
Category 2
Young Voices Foundation Tell A Family Story Contest
Storee Wryter is happy to introduce you to a talented young writer. Bella Finkel is from New Port News, Virginia. Her short story, Phoenix, took second plase in the Young Voices Foundation Tell a Family Story writing contest earning her a $50.00 cash award. Like Storee, Bella loves writing.
Bella says:
"I began identifying myself as a writer in the third grade
when I became interested in poetry, although I have written for as long as I
can remember.
Writing releases a part of me that I can then bring to life
on paper. It allows me to take bits of what I’m thinking and create a person or
a situation inspired by my thoughts.
By doing so, I learn about myself as a writer and, more
broadly, as a person.
I feel that one of the best things about writing is that it allows you to take pieces of your life and emotions and create someone who you can relate to and understand, even though they are a completely different person from yourself. This requires you to be observant of your own emotions and reactions, as well as the emotions and reactions of those around you. The difficult part is applying those emotions to situations you’ve never experienced, and continuing with accurate descriptions throughout the story.
Lois Lowry’s The Giver is a book that
I would strongly recommend. The quality of the writing is wonderful, and it
corresponds perfectly with the setting, characters, and overall message."
Writing Prompt: Write a short
story about a person who reminds you of a particular animal. What traits do
they share?
What would happen if they became that
animal? What conflicts could arise because of their transformation?
*****
Here is Bella's Prize Winning Story
“Phoenix”
The voice was unmistakable,
and so was the raspberry that followed. As I got out of bed and peered into the
hallway I was unsurprised to see my older sister Karen glaring down at five
year old Eric, who was clutching a handful of dark brown hair ties.
Feeling as though I had just lost a difficult
battle, I slumped to the floor and began collecting the contents of Eric’s
previously hair tie filled hand. Just as I plucked the last one from the rug,
Eric came racing through the hall, clutching an Independence Day sparkler.
“No!” I tried to shout, but
could only manage a strangled cry. I coughed, trying to rid my lungs of the
fire’s vapors. “Eric!” I struggled against the hands that were dragging my
suffocating body “Eric!” I heard a door open and felt my legs being dragged
down cement. “Eric!” I took a gulp of air, feeling pure oxygen settle in my
lungs. My mind emptied, and everything went black.
I awoke a few moments later to discover
myself lying on the grass, surrounded by my family, but they weren’t looking at
me , they were looking at the house. The house, the smoke, the fire, everything
came flooding back to me in a wave of horror.
“Eric.” I murmured, sitting
up. Immediately I regretted it. As my spine curled into a sitting positionmy
stomach lurched and my head began to spin painfully. I forced my eyes into
focus and looked around at my family. My mother and Karen, huddled together,
silent tears glistening on their somber faces. My father was standing up,
staring at the house, worry sparkling in his sky blue eyes.
“Daddy.” I whispered, hoping
he could offer comfort, tell me all of this was just a dream, that I was safe
in my bedroom and all I needed to do was turn on the light. Slowly, he bent his
knees and arranged himself in a squat.
“Erin.” He said, putting his arms around me.
“Oh, Erin.” It seemed that his soft arms and gentle hand that stroked my hair
squeezed the tears out of me. I began to sob, softly at first, and then louder,
and louder, until even the moan of the fire engines couldn’t be heard over my
wails of grief.
The next remaining hours passed in a
haze. A sweaty car and stale turkey sandwich swept vaguely over my
consciousness. I dreamt of a strange boy being surrounded by flames, a bald
crow soared above the smoke, calling out. “Erin! Erin!”
I awoke in a cold sweat to a strange room.
Daylight had just begun to filter through the curtains, and a woman’s voice
echoed through he hallway. “Erin, you up? We’re having pancakes, they’re ready
when you are.” I rose and pulled on the loose grey t-shirt and baggy jeans that had been left at the
foot of my bed, after examining myself in the mirror I turned the brass
doorknob and followed the smell of pancakes down a long dark hallway. I rounded
a corner and glimpsed the kitchen, feeling a lump rise in my throat. Mom and
Dad were huddled together over a single cup of coffee, Karen was hiccupping
loudly across a glass of orange juice, Eric was nowhere in sight. I felt my
legs carry me across the carpet and onto the linoleum, stopping short at the
edge of the table. My father’s eyes met mine, then sank back into his coffee. “
Eric’s in the, hospital.” He whispered hoarsely.
As I sank into a chair a woman stumbled
into the kitchen, carrying a tray of overdone pancakes and burnt bacon. “Erin!”
she bellowed. “Glad to see you up! Here, have a pancake.” She swiped a spatula
under the top layer of the pile and slapped it onto a plate with and
unappetizing plop. “Here you go.” She said, scanning me thoughtfully with her
chocolate brown eyes. “My you’ve grown, I haven’t seen you since you were, oh,
five or six. I don’t suppose you remember me, do you?” she asked before
continuing. “No, of course you don’t. I’m your Aunt Mauleen, your father’s
sister, and that” she said, gesturing at a tired looking man emerging from the
hallway, “is my husband, your Uncle Henry.” At the sound of his name the man
gave me a weary smile that quickly turned into a yawn. “Any coffee left Mauly?”
he asked, pulling up a chair beside me. “Plenty dear.” She said, planting a
kiss at the top of his balding head before hurrying off to the coffee pot. I
could feel Henry’s eyes looking curiously at the side of my head, but I
couldn’t seem to make myself care.
I grabbed the fork and knife that lay on
either side of my plate and began to attack my flimsy pancake, struggling not
to picture Eric, burned and bruised lying in a pale white hospital bed. I
forced the image out of my mind and stuffed another bite of pancake into my
mouth, noticing as I did so that everyone had left the kitchen except Henry and
me. Feeling that this was my cue to go, I left my rubbery pancake and followed
my parents’ voices out to the front porch where Mauleen was ushering them into
an old white Corolla. “We’re going to the hospital to visit Eric. Mom said in a
high-pitched voice that didn’t belong to her. “ They only allow the parents in,
but we’ll be back in time for supper.” The doors slammed and the car backed out
of the driveway, taking my parents with it.
Suddenly tears welled up in my eyes, Eric
was gone, and now my parents were leaving too. I pressed my body against Karen,
who put her arm around me. She too had tears glistening on her cheeks. “I love
you, Erin.” She said softly, resting her head on top of mine. Her silky red
hair flowed down my face, camouflaging itself in mine as it swept away my
tears. “I love you.” The afternoon and evening passed in an uneventful episode
of checkers and cards. Dinner was a
quiet affair punctuated by my mother’s teary sniffs and Mauleen’s bold attempts
at conversation. Needless to say I was
glad when Karen and I were dismissed for bed.
I snuggled onto my cot and quickly settled into a deep, dreamless sleep.
I awoke in the early morning to a chilly
bed and full bladder, cursing myself, I rose and staggered down the hallway to
the bathroom, greatly anticipating the moment I could get back in bed and pull
the covers up to my chin. I emptied my
bladder and walked in back to my room, burying myself in covers, but as I
pulled the blankets over my head, a soft sob echoed from the opposite side of
the room where Karen lay. “Eric.” She
murmured, “Eric.” Although her lips quivered and her head tossed from side to
side, she remained in a deep slumber. I
rose and walked over to her, placing my hand in hers. “Karen.” I whispered, stroking her hair. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” She rolled over and
let out another loud sob. “Eric!” I tried to grab her hand but she pulled away
at my touch. “Eric! No! Eric!” Her voice cracked into a multitude of tears, I
resumed my petting of her hair, and slowly, she quieted. Her eyes began to
open, scoping out the room before looking at me. “Oh Erin, I’m sorry, it’s
just… Oh Erin, I pulled you out of the fire, I pulled you out of the fire, I
pulled you out of the fire just like I did, but Eric…” Her eyes swelled with
tears at the mention of his name. “Oh Erin, I left Eric, how could I take you
and leave Eric? How could I abandon my little brother? How could I…?” Before
she could finish her sentence, her words were overcome by a flow of tears.
“Shh” I whispered. “You’re okay, Eric’s okay, everything’s going to be okay.”
And I knew it would be.
For the next two weeks each day passed
just like every other. We got up and ate breakfast, Mom and Dad visited Eric at
the hospital, and Karen and I killed time until their return. Dinner was eaten,
dishes washed, and Karen and I retired to bed. We followed this schedule until
the fateful day that Dad found us an apartment.
“My darling daughters, I have an
announcement to make.” We sat in a circle on the living room rug. Dad stood at
the front, talking in a manner that sounded uncannily like our state
congressman. He looked around at us and beamed, pausing for dramatic effect.
“Eric’s been discharged.” Karen whooped and laughed aloud, I felt tears well up
in my eyes. “Eric’s…?” “Discharged, that’s right, and to celebrate, I have
rented us an apartment with a two year lease.” A smile spread onto my face and
my mind began to race. “When do we move in?” I asked, happiness flooding
through me. “Well we see it tomorrow. You and Karen and I will drive there
while your mom picks up Eric. After that we’ll unpack what’s left of our stuff,
buy a few new things, and start living in our own house again.” We were living
in our own house again, we were going home.
The car bumped along happily, bouncing us
higher with every cheerful word we spoke. The conversation bobbed through the
air, floating on a cloud of laughter and hope. We pulled up in front of a small
apartment complex. Although unimpressive, it was neat and clean, with a row of
petunias lining the chalk white sidewalk. “Here we are family, welcome home.”
Dad smiled and unlocked the car doors, beckoning us to exit. I climbed out onto
the sidewalk and looked around at the building, three blocks of solid red
brick, blue lace curtains peeping out of sunny windows. We followed Dad down to
the sidewalk to the very last door, entering our house through a large sitting
room with bright yellow walls that reflected the sun as it beamed through the
window. I looked around in awe at our new home, it seemed amazing that we could
live together again after what had happened. That we could still be a family
after the fire that tore us apart. The doorbell rang, and my excitement soared,
I raced to the door and hurled myself at the handle, revealing the figure that
stood at the threshold. “Can senator Harrison count on your vote this upcoming
election?” Unaware of my rudeness, I turned around and slammed the door.
Disappointment flooding through me, I walked back down the hall and into my bedroom,
flopping down on my mattress. I closed my eyes and let myself sink into a deep
daydream.
I dozed until late afternoon when I was
awoke to a rustling noise next to my mattress. “Erin, wake up!” My eyelids
recognized the voice before my ears did, popping open to look into the face of
a smiling Eric. I leapt up and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, feeling him
wince under the pressure of my arms. His left leg was wrapped in bandages and
his complexion was pale, but he still wore the sandy brown hair and cheeky
smile that always accompanied his boyish face. “Eric!” I cried. “You’re home!
You’re wonderful! I love you!” Eric blushed. “I love you too.” I pulled him
into another hug, careful not to squeeze him quite so hard this time. “I missed
you” I whispered into his hair. “I missed you so much.” He was about to reply
when we were interrupted by a knock at the door and Karen strode in, carrying
an air of self importance. ‘Stir fry for dinner.” She announced, pulling us
each into a one armed hug. “And chocolate ice cream for dessert.” She smiled and walked out of the room,
beckoning for us to come. We followed her into her into the living room and
squeezed ourselves into the lawn chairs that served as makeshift furniture. “I
spy…” Karen started, but her words were interrupted by Mom’s call of “Supper
everyone!”
We hurried into the kitchen and began
devouring our food, and though dinner passed in few words, our ice cream was
accompanied by many glad exchanges and plenty of laughter. When it came time to
retire to bed, our stomachs were full of good food and happy prospects.
I laid myself down and zipped up my
sleeping bag, falling into slumber almost immediately. Although I slept fast my
sleep was not deep, and I awoke late into the night. Moonlight shimmered
through my window and mice scampered through the walls, keeping me awake. At
around midnight I heard my door creak open and felt a warm little body curl up
next to me. “Erin,” It whispered. “Erin, I am scared, I don’t want our house to
catch fire again, I don’t want us to burn.” “We’re not going to burn.” I said
softly. “And our house isn’t going to burn either.” I placed a hand on top of
his head and gave his hair a gentle ruffle. “Don’t worry.” He sighed and
snuggled closer to me, his breathing became deep and steady, but just as I
became certain that he had drifted off to sleep his voice echoed through the
darkness. “Erin, why did I survive?” Suddenly the peace fell away and the air
became thin. I paused, looking into his ocean blue eyes, it seemed that there
was something beneath their depths, something dancing to some unearthly rhythm,
glowing and sparkling like a hot coal. Eric had flames beyond his eyes, flames
that had ignited not our house, but our lives into a roaring inferno of love
and hope. “Because you are an angel.” I whispered. “Because you are our phoenix
of gratitude and wonder and joy.” Eric nodded and smiled, as though to light
the flame of our new life together as a family.
